Love is Blind, and That’s Not Always a Good Thing

As we come off the sugar high of that most romantic of holidays, Valentine's Day, I am reminded of all the events I've attended where loving couples have dressed their best. Gorgeous women with perfect hair and amazing dresses, and good looking men in perfectly coordinated suits, because the gorgeous woman with them said, "Here, you will wear this!"

As I watch the crowds mix and mingle, couples exchange kisses and glances. Events like this always put us in a mood of bliss and happiness. Love truly is blind, and this is especially true when it comes to money.

Now I’m not bashing relationships and love. After all, I’ve been happily married for nearly 30 wonderful years and just came back from a phenomenal trip to Australia that was an anniversary trip more than a decade in the planning. But consider this – there is no romance without finance! Study after study has shown that disagreements over money are among the most destructive in relationships. When the good looks and romance fade, that $50,000 in credit card debt will still be there to remind of you what a great time you once had.

So how can you tell if your significant other is a financial ticking time bomb? Here are a few signs I’ve picked up on after 25 years of counseling couples young and old.

They never want to talk about money.
Money is a taboo subject in our society, but it shouldn’t be in any marriage or long-term relationship.

They have significant credit card debt, and no discernible plan for getting rid of it.
If you get married, their debt becomes your debt.

They are always borrowing money from others, including you.
Trust me, they will probably never get around to paying them or you back.

They spend more time looking for work than going to work.
If your better half is constantly out of work, that’s either a sign they can’t commit to something, lack ambition, or both.

You catch them in lies.
Dishonesty in a relationship is never good, but dishonesty about money, in my opinion, is a form of infidelity.

They have no plan at all.
Plenty of people don’t have well-built, comprehensive plans for their finances. But someone with no clue about what they want is a disaster waiting to happen.

Relationships are certainly about more than money and I’ve seen couples with plenty of money and no financial troubles have fights that would curl your toes. But if you are in a relationship you think could end in marriage, remember this – marriage may be an institution, but being in a marriage saddled with financial problems will put you in an institution.

Live Fabulously – Diva